Jello
by CuteMcBeauty
Summary: Captain Hook develops a sudden childish phobia for Jello...


He stirred awake again, every inch of his body aching and sore. He had been around for hundreds of years, but he was sure he had lied when he had asserted to Swan that "He had had worse days". Truth was, he hadn't. Not once in his life had he ever ached this badly. Captain Hook had lived through innumerable adventures: He had survived a week inside the belly of a whale, had been seduced, drowned and screwed by mermaids which he had later returned to slay, he had flown the Jolly Roger from realm to realm, duelled with Rumplestilstskin and lived to tell the tale of how he had the Dark One's hand clenched around his heart but hadn't had it ripped out his chest... But this pain was ungodly.

And so was that strange looking blue blob sitting before him on a tray.

He tried to touch his own forehead in an attempt to figure out if he was feverish and hallucinating; years as a sea captain had given him the wits to practically father his entire crew and know when a crew member was feverish, merely by the touch of his forehead. But when he tried to reach for his face, he found his hand to be restrained by the handcuff Emma had set there.

"Blimey..." he whimpered as he tried to sit up and find a way to free himself. He was definitley uneasy...That blue stuff wobbled and he could have sworn it was growing. He felt decidedly uncomfortable with that thing nearby.

He had learned a trick to free himself from shackles once, a long time ago. He hoped shackles on this realm would operate with a similar mechanism. So he tried that. Wiggle hand twice in ine direction while pushing a bit here and sliding bit there and... SNAP.

He stood like lightning in spite of his aching body, ripping out needles and prods that were attached to his body, and spun around the shaky matter.

"What in shaggin' hell.." he sneered. He took a fork and gave it a gentle prod. The stuff shook uncannily and Killian jumped at least three feet back. "Damn!"

She smelled it. He stared at it. He finally touched it with the tip of his finger. And the stuff continued to shake and wobble in place.

This had to be the result of some black magic. It frightened him.

"Is this for real?" He whispered out loud as he took it in his hand (hoping it wouldn't attack him) and walked out, making a couple of nurses and orderlies turn in the direction he had walked, staring at his naked butt as he passed through the halls clad in nothing but the hospital robe. They said nothing; it was a nice butt.

The unmistakable voice of Emma Swan guided him through the passages. Sure, they'd had a bit of a rocky start and it seemed the lass had a thing for shackles (that might later come in pleasurably handy, he thought), but she was of this realm and she probably knew more of this odd, translucid matter than he did.

To be honest, he wanted to talk to her again and the odd substance gave him a perfect excuse, even if he had a shaky hand from carrying the ungodly matter.

His legs were nearly giving in (and he was also slightly woozy from some medication he'd probably been given for the pain) when he finally found her. She was talking to her mother. Hook leaned on the door frame to support his own weight and simply called out. "What's this? I found it on the tray..."

Both mother and daughter turned around and looked stunned to find him standing there, robed, on his feet and with a bowl of jello in his hand. But Emma was more impressed for a different reason; how the hell had he freed himself from professional, police department steel handcuffs?

"Really?!" she exclaimed as she made a beeline to him, her eyes set on the busted cuffs.

Killian seemed offended at her utter lack of insight regarding his talents as a scoundrel. He raised his hand and shrugged. "Pirate!" He exclaimed, signaling the obvious, before returning to the bowl. "And what the bloody hell is this?"

"Jello." Emma snapped back, making Hook wonder what would have happened to him had looks really been able to kill.

A far kinder Mary Margaret replied from the back. "It's food; you eat it."

Food?

Lords, he could have eaten the raw guts of a live-skinned pig before even venturing into taking a bite out of that thing.

"Hmmm, I thought it was a hallucination..." He sneered before raising one eye and finding Ruby, the tall and leggy bar maid at Granny's, standing around. "Oh, hello... you're quite real, aren't you?" He immediately flirted, feeling one corner of his lips rise.

Emma snapped. "Go on and eat your Jello..." she exclaimed as she turned him on his axis and, pirate wincing in pain, led him back to his room. "Now sit there, and eat your food."

Killian sat on the edge of the bed while Emma called a nurse to reattach the drop catheter back into his arm. The handsome pirate sat staring at the blue substance before him. "I sense this thing to be alive and watching my every move..."

Emma turned to him and shook her head. "What?"

"I can't eat this."

"You have to."

"I'll die..." He turned a legitimately anguished glare at Emma. "This is the Crocodile's doing... he wants me to ingest this foul gelatin so it can eat me from my innards out!"

"Oh for the love of god..." Emma paced over to him and took a spoonful of the stuff to her mouth violently. "See?" she spoke still chewing. "Just Jello. Now you eat it."

Killian turned back to the bowl. "I refuse."

Emma huffed. "You can't be serious..."

"These are the most unappetizing and dangerous victuals I have ever encountered..." He turned to her. "I may value my revenge, love, but I also value my life. I won't voluntarily ingest this thing!"

"You kidding me? You just got hit by a car at 65 miles per hour and you're worried that a bowl of jello might kill you?"

"It's blue! Killian shrugged. "If there is one thing I learned through my life is never to ingest any comestible that is unnaturally coloured!"

Emma ran her hand through her hair and huffed. "Ok, I'll have another taste and then you do it, ok?"

Just as she had said these words, the nurse came back, needle in hand, and reattached the serum drop to his arm. "Ow..." came Killian's mild complaint as the needle went into his arm.

"Now, lay back, Mister Jones..." the huge, friendly woman spoke, practically lifting his legs up like some damsel in distress. "A sprained back and six broken ribs are no laughing matter."

Killian still stared at the jello with discomfort.

Emma grinned; she had never imagined Captain Hook would ever look vulnerable; She knew that he was. Cora was out there looking for him and Rumplestiltskin was pissed at him for shooting at Belle... so he was a sitting duck if they weren't careful. But he needed to remain alive, for some reason. She had no idea what; but he had to live.

Besides... he was kind of cute.

Emma sat on the edge of the bed and took the bowl of jello in her hand. "You won't..." Hook quipped.

Emma looked at him with a self-pleasing, victorious grin. "Medicinal properties." She quipped as she filled the spoon with the horrid, shaky blue substance. "Now... open up..."

The pirate squirmed painfully and pressed his head back against the pillow, his nose wrinkled and his eyes decidedly panicky. "Nope. Not taking that thing into my mouth, love..."

Emma huffed with a grin. God this man was like a child!

"I have ways of making you..."

Hook shook his head. "No. No, no."

So Emma poked at one of his broken ribs.

As Hook gasped in pain, emma shoved the contents of the spoon into his muth and then pressed her hand over it to stop him from spitting it out.

Killian shot eye darts as her as he unwillingly savored the blue jelly. His stare softened and then he raised bot brows up simultaneously. Emma found it save to remove her hand from his lips as he licked his lips. "that's... not half bad, actually. Give us here..." He reached out for the bowl.

"That's a good little pirate." Emma smiled as she handed him the bowl.

Before the end of the day, he had asked for two more.

CSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCSCS

Two years later...

"Love, where is the jello?"

"We have none!"

"What? But you said you'd bring some home yesterday!"

"Forgot!"

"Bloody hell, Emma!"

"Oh for go sakes, honey, the store's just around the corner, go buy a packet!"

"It's bloody cold out!"

"And I am feeding your son, Killian! You seriously want me to figure this out for you now? Really?"

"Well, you did feed me back then."

"Wish I hadn't. You woof through five packs of jello a week."

"Well, I can't help it if it's bloody delicious."

"Look, baby, put on your jacket and get out there to buy your jello... when you get back I'll make it for you."

"Really?"

"Pirate! Will you just do it!?"

"Righty-ho m'love, on my way..."

"Killian!"

"Yes, darling?"

"Make it blueberry!"

"Wouldn't buy any other now, would I?"


End file.
